“This is Snuggleton Veron reporteygne. Repeat. This is Snuggleton Veron. Over.”
“Nothing.” The small child, sitting on a chair in front of a desk, flicked a switch on an imaginary microphone on which he was pretending to send an emergency message to the Queen.
“Shit show. Yet again.” Another small pause, followed by (quietly and with a hint of resignation), “what am I going to do with her?”
He dropped down from the chair (the chair was real) and padded on his paws across the room (Snuggletons have paws), towards the fridge. He opened the fridge and peered in, looking for something sweet and tasty.
“A smackrel for me please,” he said as he rummaged around in the fridge and then, as he happened on something, a softly punctuated, high pitched, and slightly draw out, “a-ah!”
Having found something to eat, he padded on his paws across the room again, this time walking past the desk with the imaginary microphone on (“no, thank you”, he said crisply, on the way past), and into another room with a sofa in.
He lay down on the sofa, had a bite of his smackrel and masticated childishly, swallowed clumsily, smacked his lips a couple of times, then put the smackrel on another, smaller table next to him, shut his eyes and began to think some pre-full-snuggle-up thoughts. He hadn’t ever spoken to another person (although he was sure that he, himself, was a person) but he knew that he would definitely be speaking to people like the Queen if he did speak to someone else (since the Queen was certainly his type of person).
She must just be busy, he thought.
And in the sunlight from the window, as he lay on the sofa, Snuggleton Veron began the procedure that preceded full snuggle-up.
About thorndale12
This blog is a parody of the lifestyle and behaviours and mindsets that led to my fall from the grace from a privileged and relatively stable up-bringing to my social demise and ultimate humiliation (at the hands of my peers), and that also ultimately led me to find God and repair my life, having become reconciled to those I hurt wherever possible.
It is not an apology, rather a tongue-in-cheek piss-take, and was written during a dark time in my life when I had turned from my sin and had begun to repair my life, but none of the (particularly) social graces had been returned to me. You have all had a lot of laughs at my expensive and this response, although inappropriate in many people's eyes, was a powerful coping mechanism in my recovery and for the hope that it might make a positive difference in other people's lives if I did not turn back from my repentance, I did not turn back because I had managed to divert my obsessions from malefaction to more healthy pursuits.
I think taking drugs is a very bad idea and I would strongly urge everyone never to do this. I escaped from my life of sin by the grace of God but not everyone is so lucky and drug and alcohol addiction are serious and often fatal behaviour problems. We are living in an age where dependency is a very bad idea so please turn to God if you have alcohol and drug related problems - he has helped me repair my life from a position of almost total destruction and he will do the same for you.
If I ever accede to a position of responsibility in the world, I am likely to come under a lot of persecution as a result of this blog and while it is not intended to cause offence, I don't care if you're offended by this. Whether or not it brings my downfall remains to be seen but I can rest assured that whatever I do, some, or many of you are going to accuse me of doing the wrong thing anyway. On the basis of this truth I've published this blog.
I hope you find God, in whatever form you find him, and that he helps you live lives that are worthy of him and you. And always remember: "You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master." Genesis 4:7
God is no respecter of persons - what has happened to me could happen to you, for "time and circumstance happen to all people"; so be careful how you judge, for "one day you too will be judged."
And I might also say that whether you believe God or not, the promises he gives are true nevertheless!
Psalm 7:
I come to you for protection, O Lord My God. Save me from my persecutors - rescue me! If you don't, they will maul me like a lion, tearing me to pieces with on one to rescue me. O Lord my God, if I have done wrong or am guilty of injustice, if I have betrayed a friend or plundered my enemy without cause, then let my enemies capture me. Let them trample me into the ground and drag my honour in the dust.
Arise, O Lord, in anger! Stand up against the fury of my enemies! Wake up, my God, and bring justice! Gather the nations before you. Rule over them from on high. The Lord judges the nations. Declare me righteous, O Lord, for I am innocent, O Most High! End the evil of those who are wicked, and defend the righteous. For you look deep within the mind and heart, O righteous God.
God is my shield, saving those whose hearts are true and right. God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day.
If a person does not repent, God will sharpen his sword; he will bend and string his bow. He will prepare his deadly weapons and shoot his flaming arrows.
The wicked conceive evil; they are pregnant with trouble and give birth to lies. They dig a deep pit to trap others, then fall into it themselves. The trouble they make for others backfires on them The violence they plan falls on their own heads.
I will thank the Lord because he is just; I will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High.
canheforgivethough 