“From one example, learn all.” Latin proverb
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” Proverbs 1:7
I was lighting the hash pipe and things were going okay. The weed started to crackle and as I inhaled, the slightly harsh smoke hit the back of my throat, then entered into my lungs as I inhaled more deeply. With the pipe still smoking, I held the hit in my lungs for a few seconds and exhaled the thick smoke in the surrounding atmosphere.
I’d hit about 5000 revs by this time, so I changed into fourth gear. I took another hit, and another until the pipe was clean, then discarded the pipe on the passenger shelf, and hammered the accelerator into the floor.
“This thing can move quickly, yes?”
The hitchhiker was visually distressed. I didn’t know why initially and then it occurred to me.
“Shit!”
I reached for the pipe and fumbled in my pocket for the weed – sticky, nasty bud that I’d picked up earlier in the day.
“Sorry, pal. I’ll fill up the pipe.”
It took a little fumbling while I held the car steady with my elbows but eventually I managed to break off enough weed to give the guy a good smoke. I handed him the pipe and sunk into my seat, preparing to enjoy my violently quick car all the way to the coast. If I’d have been a little more considerate, I’d probably have given the odd cursory glance to make sure my passenger was okay but it didn’t even occur to me to do this. Quite possibly a big mistake in light of the ensuing chaos.
I noticed he was making a phone call, so I turned the music up (instead of down – by mistake). The sound system happened to be playing one of my favourite songs and I considered this carefully for a minute with a pensive finger on my chin, then sank back into my seat to enjoy the music.
It turned out that this guy had called the cops. When he asked for my number plate I just gave it to him, thinking he was making conversation.
When I heard the siren behind me, I looked at this guy who I’d picked up in a layby near York (for petrol money. I was going to discuss this later), “someone’s in trouble eh?”
I kept an eye on the cop, expecting to watch him sail past in pursuit of some poor sod. It took a while to realise he was after me. I didn’t really understand the mechanics of what I would be required to do if this really was the case. I simply wasn’t prepared for a situation like this. I began to panic. Then I realised I was stoned and panicking wasn’t appropriate. I turned up the music and, yep, accelerated. This turned out to be an even more serious mistake I’m afraid.
I was eventually coerced into pulling over by TWO police cars. The cop had only called his mate to assist him. Dam it. I didn’t do a very good job of pulling over either at it happens. I opted for the nearest exit but unfortunately it just happened that the nearest exit wasn’t the most convenient place to pull up. Not considering it wasn’t the nearest exit. It was actually one of those ramps where police cars sit to monitor traffic. I had to break extremely quickly and, unfortunately, this action was not effective enough to prevent an extremely serious crash through a fence and into a cow field.
How I got away with that one I’ll never know.
Perhaps I didn’t. Maybe I’m still lying in a ditch somewhere, covered in my own blood, gasping my last breath. Or maybe I’m waiting to go to court to meet the family of the man I killed.
You just don’t know, do you?
MY OPINIONS AND VIEWS EXPRESSED HERE ARE MY OWN AND DO NOT REFLECT MY EMPLOYER
I am now ashamed of the things I used to do. Those things result in destruction.
About thorndale12
This blog is a parody of the lifestyle and behaviours and mindsets that led to my fall from the grace from a privileged and relatively stable up-bringing to my social demise and ultimate humiliation (at the hands of my peers), and that also ultimately led me to find God and repair my life, having become reconciled to those I hurt wherever possible.
It is not an apology, rather a tongue-in-cheek piss-take, and was written during a dark time in my life when I had turned from my sin and had begun to repair my life, but none of the (particularly) social graces had been returned to me. You have all had a lot of laughs at my expensive and this response, although inappropriate in many people's eyes, was a powerful coping mechanism in my recovery and for the hope that it might make a positive difference in other people's lives if I did not turn back from my repentance, I did not turn back because I had managed to divert my obsessions from malefaction to more healthy pursuits.
I think taking drugs is a very bad idea and I would strongly urge everyone never to do this. I escaped from my life of sin by the grace of God but not everyone is so lucky and drug and alcohol addiction are serious and often fatal behaviour problems. We are living in an age where dependency is a very bad idea so please turn to God if you have alcohol and drug related problems - he has helped me repair my life from a position of almost total destruction and he will do the same for you.
If I ever accede to a position of responsibility in the world, I am likely to come under a lot of persecution as a result of this blog and while it is not intended to cause offence, I don't care if you're offended by this. Whether or not it brings my downfall remains to be seen but I can rest assured that whatever I do, some, or many of you are going to accuse me of doing the wrong thing anyway. On the basis of this truth I've published this blog.
I hope you find God, in whatever form you find him, and that he helps you live lives that are worthy of him and you. And always remember: "You will be accepted if you do what is right. But if you refuse to do what is right, then watch out! Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master." Genesis 4:7
God is no respecter of persons - what has happened to me could happen to you, for "time and circumstance happen to all people"; so be careful how you judge, for "one day you too will be judged."
And I might also say that whether you believe God or not, the promises he gives are true nevertheless!
Psalm 7:
I come to you for protection, O Lord My God. Save me from my persecutors - rescue me! If you don't, they will maul me like a lion, tearing me to pieces with on one to rescue me. O Lord my God, if I have done wrong or am guilty of injustice, if I have betrayed a friend or plundered my enemy without cause, then let my enemies capture me. Let them trample me into the ground and drag my honour in the dust.
Arise, O Lord, in anger! Stand up against the fury of my enemies! Wake up, my God, and bring justice! Gather the nations before you. Rule over them from on high. The Lord judges the nations. Declare me righteous, O Lord, for I am innocent, O Most High! End the evil of those who are wicked, and defend the righteous. For you look deep within the mind and heart, O righteous God.
God is my shield, saving those whose hearts are true and right. God is an honest judge. He is angry with the wicked every day.
If a person does not repent, God will sharpen his sword; he will bend and string his bow. He will prepare his deadly weapons and shoot his flaming arrows.
The wicked conceive evil; they are pregnant with trouble and give birth to lies. They dig a deep pit to trap others, then fall into it themselves. The trouble they make for others backfires on them The violence they plan falls on their own heads.
I will thank the Lord because he is just; I will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High.
canheforgivethough 