“From one example, learn all.” Latin proverb
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, but fools despise wisdom and discipline.” Proverbs 1:7
I was lighting the hash pipe and things were going okay. The weed started to crackle and as I inhaled, the slightly harsh smoke hit the back of my throat, then entered into my lungs as I inhaled more deeply. With the pipe still smoking, I held the hit in my lungs for a few seconds and exhaled the thick smoke in the surrounding atmosphere.
I’d hit about 5000 revs by this time, so I changed into fourth gear. I took another hit, and another until the pipe was clean, then discarded the pipe on the passenger shelf, and hammered the accelerator into the floor.
“This thing can move quickly, yes?”
The hitchhiker was visually distressed. I didn’t know why initially and then it occurred to me.
“Shit!”
I reached for the pipe and fumbled in my pocket for the weed – sticky, nasty bud that I’d picked up earlier in the day.
“Sorry, pal. I’ll fill up the pipe.”
It took a little fumbling while I held the car steady with my elbows but eventually I managed to break off enough weed to give the guy a good smoke. I handed him the pipe and sunk into my seat, preparing to enjoy my violently quick car all the way to the coast. If I’d have been a little more considerate, I’d probably have given the odd cursory glance to make sure my passenger was okay but it didn’t even occur to me to do this. Quite possibly a big mistake in light of the ensuing chaos.
I noticed he was making a phone call, so I turned the music up (instead of down – by mistake). The sound system happened to be playing one of my favourite songs and I considered this carefully for a minute with a pensive finger on my chin, then sank back into my seat to enjoy the music.
It turned out that this guy had called the cops. When he asked for my number plate I just gave it to him, thinking he was making conversation.
When I heard the siren behind me, I looked at this guy who I’d picked up in a layby near York (for petrol money. I was going to discuss this later), “someone’s in trouble eh?”
I kept an eye on the cop, expecting to watch him sail past in pursuit of some poor sod. It took a while to realise he was after me. I didn’t really understand the mechanics of what I would be required to do if this really was the case. I simply wasn’t prepared for a situation like this. I began to panic. Then I realised I was stoned and panicking wasn’t appropriate. I turned up the music and, yep, accelerated. This turned out to be an even more serious mistake I’m afraid.
I was eventually coerced into pulling over by TWO police cars. The cop had only called his mate to assist him. Dam it. I didn’t do a very good job of pulling over either at it happens. I opted for the nearest exit but unfortunately it just happened that the nearest exit wasn’t the most convenient place to pull up. Not considering it wasn’t the nearest exit. It was actually one of those ramps where police cars sit to monitor traffic. I had to break extremely quickly and, unfortunately, this action was not effective enough to prevent an extremely serious crash through a fence and into a cow field.
How I got away with that one I’ll never know.
Perhaps I didn’t. Maybe I’m still lying in a ditch somewhere, covered in my own blood, gasping my last breath. Or maybe I’m waiting to go to court to meet the family of the man I killed.
You just don’t know, do you?
MY OPINIONS AND VIEWS EXPRESSED HERE ARE MY OWN AND DO NOT REFLECT MY EMPLOYER
I am now ashamed of the things I used to do. Those things result in destruction.
canheforgivethough 